Moved to WordPress!!

I moved my blog to Wordpress!! :)
Here is the link:

As the life goes @ Wordpress

Thanks for visiting my blog!! :)

Redemption!!

I fade once again...
to seek for me,
my existence,
my persistence!!

I find once again...
my gain, my loss,
more life, and dreams,
and I vanish again!

In the hazy blues,
I find my asylum!!
I find my smiles,
I find my trusts!!

I am lost but found!!
I am gone but here!!
I am all but the trust!!
I am one but none!!

Something to share!!

Well, as I am too blank to write any blog entries these days or rather say too busy with my thesis and all I will share a story I have been writing at popular nepali forum.
Hope u ll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!
Here is the link to that:

The lone stars: an unwritten story!!

You all are free to criticize the piece of crap I wrote; and I seriously hope you won't curse me for letting you read that!! Enjoy and curse!! :)

Dedicated to all procrastinators!!

And there comes a time when I have no positive energy to do anything! I have bag full of works to do which can scare a shit out of even Bhimsen: an project which has a deadline, the assignments which I have no clue about what to do with it, and above all thesis. But what I do: I procrastinate and that too not only once in while but all the time and I don't repent it at all because I don't even think those were procrastinations.

Imagine a table full of files to be worked on, now imagine that is a government office in Nepal; and imagine the time is Push Magh and I am the officer in that government office who is enjoying the sunny afternoon eating orange and badams sitting on the ground just in front of office. Yeah you got it right: thats just me these days!! I have loads of works to do but nothing seems to affect me. I think my thesis adviser had even forgotten me as I have not even contacted him. Well even if I contact him I have nothing to show, So its better that way as I would not want *ready to beat me with flip flop* looks in his eyes for me.

I hadn't even updated my blog for days now as I am lazy or mentally constipated to write anything at all. I heard once that all great ideas are brewed in toilet. I was having this e-meeting with some of my buds for somethings we want to do! And one of us goes to toilet just to come back with one brilliant idea making my belief even stronger. So I tried to brew some ideas while in toilet this morning: but it seems like my mind itself had taken toll of me. All I could think was "Damn I have to go to work tonight; and I hate weekends!!:(" So it seems great ideas are not brewed there but it rather gives you of depressing realms. Anyways I have to work to survive so I should take it cool and I chilled my brain with a cup of coffee.
The day before, I was sleeping and somebody called me on phone. I was half asleep when I picked it up.
Me: "Hello"
Other end: " Hello bhai!!"
Me: "Hajur"
Other end:"Sutiraako??" Thinks what a silly question: Wake me up and ask sutiraako!! hehe
Me: "Aan uthna lageko thyen!" I would have slept some more hours; but sleep will be gone now!! :|
Other end:"Bhai bholi ekdin babu lai herdeu na hai!! Ma ra bhena ko kaam janu parchha!!"
Me: "Hunchha lyaidinu na!" So I will have a job of babysitter for a day; anyways had been long since I have spent my time with baby! One thing I like about hanging out with them is you can keep them happy with all your weirdness; others would think you are insane for that.
So I get to look at cute little Riyaz for more than 5 hours. What we do basically:

• Play football inside my room!
• Let him paint my wall and all my class notes with highlighter!
• Bang my phone twice!
• Bang my keyboards of lappu while watching Tom and Jerry and Kickey mouse-- thats how he calls Mickey dude-- on the ultimate Youtube.
• Fighting furiously over his choice of colours for painting my room.
• Wrestling on my bed.
  
• Make eggs sunny side up and toast for him!!
• Take some picture; and he loves it!!
• Sitting on my window watching people and cars passing away below and calling out loud to the people below!! and then looking at each other and saying, "Sunena!" and smile!!
• And then at last he going to sleep.

Anyways, to conclude it all it was wonderful. His Pa comes later to pick him up and he is asleep by then. Well It is so wonderful how these little kids can bring smile to you in your somewhat mundane life! :)
And the title of my blog follows: I flow along "As the life goes".

Oh yeah!! Forgot to add this earlier on!! Happy New year 2064 for all of you!! I am gonna be dead drop on that day to wash away my tears, agony and misery of 2063!!
Yo barsa jammai phaloos phuloos tapainhaaruko kapaal bahek!! :D

And I wish...

A little bit of misery!!
A little bit of wisdom!!
A little bit of hope!!
A little bit of fun!!
Some gain, Some loss!!
Some smile, Some tear!!
A bucket full of life!!
Sweet memories, one year!

A wish: for happiness!!
moments full of smiles!!
small gossips full of life!!
and company to go miles!!
A will: to carry on the fight!
to stand up in lowest lows!
to be there on hardest times!
to smile even if misery shows!

An Ode to Virtual Reality!!

Mesmerized, I smile along with
your each words, huhs!! and your realm
your lols,smilies, giggles and endless smiles
those only I can feel and imagine!!

Feel and imagine, and I can imagine
a shot of tea or coffee, together forever
stirring gossip and smiles: soul to soul,
and the moments treasured in hearts!!

Treasured for life, for the winding road
to smile at, to feel for, to imagine the time
the sonnets, the giggles, the smiles shared
the chats, the frowns, for each we cared!!

Care, we care ;but still the life happens,
may we meet or not, but we shared,
the moments, the smiles and the life!!
and this is my ode to the virtual reality!!

Blank post!! Who cares about title anyways!!

So they said I live in a virtual world; and told me I should be more social!! Why should I?? Do they really want to take me as I am in reality!! Actually can they define to me what is real!! Can they define what is virtual?? For what I see real is virtual to them, and for what they see real maybe virtual to me. I haven't asked them to change their perspective to me so why the heck do they want me to change my viewpoint. Can't they see I am fine with what I am? Or is that they can't take me as I am!! Whatever do I give a flying f@#k!! They live their life and lemme leave mine in peace, thats all I need!!
So I live in 0s and 1s!! I think they are lot better than foolish things that people roam about in!! What is so fuss about real feelings?? I hate it completely totally! So have I killed my emotions?? Don't I feel myself anymore?? I can feel others but I don't feel myself!! I don't want to feel me either! or do i?? I don't know but it is better this way! Or am I acting I don't feel!! Both way it doesn't matter until I am good with it.
I think I can die starving if they gimme a lappu and internet connection with that and throw me away on faraway island !! I won't even regret giving up my life. So does that make me virtual?? If it does so what?? Don't I have my share to be happy!! I am happy like that, do you have problem then you too go to hell; I don't care!!
So if you see this and feel like you are talking to irrational virtual human being, then why are u spending your valuable time!! I won't even feel your loss; because I am unemotional you see!! Thats they say about me!! So beware even before you approach me. I am a devil with venom within albeit a virtual one!! and in my world even that can be dangerous!!
If you wish to continue virtual tour with me then I can just tell you one thing: I ll try to make it as real as its to me for you!! All smiles guaranteed But just take me as I am! And I am really weird: one of its kind!

So I get happily numb again!

So what if numbness grasp you every next moment. I don't feel hustle bustle even when the people are chanting in their highest possible tone around me. Yeah they are talking or rather discussing things about something but I don't know what the fuss is about? Seems like grumble and mumble about things such as world affairs, taxes we pay, the rights we have got and I dunno where their talks are leading. But I care less; I am better off numb..:)
The days of me has not been better either! I have to do my thesis but I am lagging behind!! No inner desire to do that anymore!! But I am pushing myself; Maybe I ll just finish in time thats much I can expect from myself!
I had been thinking to go to Brussels and print my course documents from there; but as lazy as I am I remain sleeping or surfing but didn't go till today. Then there comes a call from my friend but I never get any calls so my phone remains lost from time to time and this time also I miss his call. I don't reply and next thing I see from his side is a angry message in my Gtalk!! So I have to give reason and clear out the misunderstanding whatsoever! But my phone is lost again!! and thats least of my worry.
So what do I worry about then?? I think nothing!! Life is going on and I enjoy it everyday passing by.
I was going to Brussels today and it was drizzling little;and I like to walk in the drizzle. Then as soon as I reach the station, I see these two ladies dancing right there in the rain. Life seemed beautiful and I smiled because I saw a portray of wonderful pair smiles; Smiles spreads doesn't it?? Last night only She had told me to dance but I rather found joy in the dance of others!! I am a terrible dancer and only dance I know is to jump like monkey. I would have taken picture of that wonderful dance I saw though but I didn't have camera.
I reach college! and started printing out documents. 1 2 3 4 and it would not stop; the numbers keep on growing and at last makes a big dragon of paper who is just about to gulp me down!! Conclusion: at last I have more than 500 pages to carry with me. So this professor wants me to read all this; what does he thinks I am: a dumbo; Oh yeah I am dumbo I forgot!!But for this I would rather fail than to read all those stuffs. So next thing I do I print another thing I downloaded from internet. I actually wanted to buy that book but I didn't found that here; English books are hard to find in here and it sucks big time. I ll buy that book from Haruki Murakami though; heard he is one good writer. So I have printed the book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez--One Hundred Years of Solitude now and this would be first south american fiction writer for me. Except Che I haven't read anyone from that side. Hope it turns out good.
Then with bag as heavy as donkey pile I come back from college. A lucky day for me and I get to meet two angels in the train. I dunno why but children really fascinates me. Just a smile and my heart is taken!! This cute cuddly kid is sitting on the corridor and I am inside compartment.
He looks at me and I wink to him!!
He gets shy and he takes a cover. Then slowly look at me again.
I winked again and he smiles rather giggles along with her little sister who is looking at us playing winks. So I get one smile bonus with another; not bad for a day!!
The station comes and I stand on door to get down from train. The kids' dad has his hands full and the kid is already down with help of another lady. I stretch my hand and little girl grabs it and smiles at me. I help her come down from town and walk away. Small simple things that brings you smiles and I am happy with the little treasures I have it seems!!
Happy but numb! Quite a combination!!
But I am what I am and I am happily numb. :)